突然间，所有歌，叮当的歌最让我心动，心痛。
唱了我的心声，我的眼泪，无声的流了出来。
已经忘记了，哭泣的模样。
突然，眼泪，无声的，安静的，从眼眶里，流了出来。
我累了，真的，好累了。
我无心再去想那一些，已经离我远去的，不属于我的，爱。
2011年2月6日星期日
2011年1月1日星期六
all the memory
when i view back the photo we took.
i am smile.the promise we made,i never forgot.
but since every thing cannot return to the passed.
i'll save all of it into my deeply heart.
it was a sweet memorize between us.
i never easily promise you anything because i worry i can't do all of it.
you might say i am not romantic,you might scare i realistic.
maybe you are wish a sweetie and romantic world.
all of it i try to do perfect.
i already work hard to do that.
don't disbelieve i never put an effort on it.
i had been cry before, mad before, insomnia and lots cause just for you.
time is passing like a lighting.
life is changing like a movie.
but, the only one thing never be change is...the memory that saving in my mind.
i still remember the wish i made on my 21 years old.
but all of it just a wish, i think it never been happened anymore.
almost over half years, i still searching the door,the door who pull me out from darkness.
i am clearly understand no one can helping me,unless i work hard to find it.
this is my life, it is not the best, but it is also not the worse.
but two times,it let me suffer for all.
i am not complaining. i just want to write down the phenomena that happening right now.
i have a crystal heart. it had been broken first time at 18th years old in my life.
i am taking two years to fix it back. but on the crystal already scar.
when i was 21 years old. it broke again.
almost 22 years old. i still like a lost goat,try hard to survive in their life,but some time worry be target by the wolf.
every time get hurt or fall down, i try hard to memorize it, not because i am petty, it is because i would like to avoid from the mistake happening twice.
there was a changing memory yesterday.
my house full of loving from my cousin, uncle auntie and friends.
i was drunk yesterday, but it would not beat me down because i already know how to drink it and cover it!
i was went to jetty with my brother's friends. my body full of the wind blowing.
i ain't fully enjoyed it because my brain was rotary.
after an hour, i just clear from drunk.
it was a memory during my 21 years life. some i ain't write down,maybe already forgot,maybe just like a simple drafting.
today is the second day in year 2011.
i wish my life will be changed, fight for my future, fight for my life. goodbye 2010...
all the memory
when i view back the photo we took.
i am smile.the promise we made,i never forgot.
but since every thing cannot return to the passed.
i'll save all of it into my deeply heart.
it was a sweet memorize between us.
i never easily promise you anything because i worry i can't do all of it.
you might say i am not romantic,you might scare i realistic.
maybe you are wish a sweetie and romantic world.
all of it i try to do perfect.
i already work hard to do that.
don't disbelieve i never put an effort on it.
i had been cry before, mad before, insomnia and lots cause just for you.
time is passing like a lighting.
life is changing like a movie.
but, the only one thing never be change is...the memory that saving in my mind.
i still remember the wish i made on my 21 years old.
but all of it just a wish, i think it never been happened anymore.
almost over half years, i still searching the door,the door who pull me out from darkness.
i am clearly understand no one can helping me,unless i work hard to find it.
this is my life, it is not the best, but it is also not the worse.
but two times,it let me suffer for all.
i am not complaining. i just want to write down the phenomena that happening right now.
i have a crystal heart. it had been broken first time at 18th years old in my life.
i am taking two years to fix it back. but on the crystal already scar.
when i was 21 years old. it broke again.
almost 22 years old. i still like a lost goat,try hard to survive in their life,but some time worry be target by the wolf.
every time get hurt or fall down, i try hard to memorize it, not because i am petty, it is because i would like to avoid from the mistake happening twice.
there was a changing memory yesterday.
my house full of loving from my cousin, uncle auntie and friends.
i was drunk yesterday, but it would not beat me down because i already know how to drink it and cover it!
i was went to jetty with my brother's friends. my body full of the wind blowing.
i ain't fully enjoyed it because my brain was rotary.
after an hour, i just clear from drunk.
it was a memory during my 21 years life. some i ain't write down,maybe already forgot,maybe just like a simple drafting.
today is the second day in year 2011.
i wish my life will be changed, fight for my future, fight for my life. goodbye 2010...
2010年12月22日星期三
深夜
2.14am不入睡~
想念一个人。
一个不能忘记的人。
一个不能舍去的人。
一个深藏在心里的人。
无奈，想哭。却怎么也哭不出来了~
难耐，想逃，却怎么逃也逃不出来~
恐惧，害怕，却怎么也无法克服了~
收藏，想说，却怎么也无法表态~
好想对远方的你，你是否忘记了我？
是否我的存在已不在？
是否我已经变成那落叶般，掉落了在土地上，腐烂，然后轻而被遗忘？
好多是不再去想，不再去争吵，不再去反抗，不再的不再。
无法形容现在的心情，以后的自己，看会现在的日记，请别笑，因为，现在的我，造就了以后的你。
珍惜现在的心情，磨练，只要唉过，全部都会过去。
想知道以后的自己是否经得起考验？
是否跌倒了还能爬起来？
是否已找到了适合自己的另一半？
好期待，好盼望，却很无奈，如同失去方向的人群，在茫茫人海里找寻着自己。
承过去，一切会更好。害怕只会让自己停留。
是不是觉得很矛盾？一会儿再恐惧害怕担忧，一会儿却在鼓励自己。
真是可笑。希望身边每一个我关心的人，关心我的人，能够幸福，快乐，健康，平安。
冬至过了。新年快到了。
新的一年，就是新的开始，希望自己的够有新的自己。
把自己带回来。希望，真的希望。感恩。
2010年12月4日星期六
无名的日记
2010接近尾声了。
自己要什么自己还不知道。
心情没什么好，也没什么不好。
昨夜的自己，躺在床上，无法入睡。
电话打不进，心里自然的没有那种愤怒感了。
我怎么了?是看开了？好是不抱着希望了。
前两天，才刚死神那里走了出来。
病得很不轻。可头脑想的全是你。
在乎又如何。。。不写上来，自己记住你说过什么就好。
事情都由自己的判断一一发生。
这就是吸引力法则。
不能怪谁，因为这些都是自己想出来的。
看到以后的一切，就是发生的结果，自己也清楚了。
每个人都有能力看到未来，不是梦想，也不是骗话。
我可以很清楚的看到其他人的未来。
可是却无能看到自己的一切。这就是，旁观者清。
昨夜，躺着，突然领悟了一些道理。
是打game里领悟的。
当你进入一个游戏时，你就自己的主宰者。
当你从level 1去level 10的时候，会比较容易。
在这段期间，如果你觉得你不适合这个游戏，你要放弃，轻而易举，因为你没放太多的心思去完成。
当你认定你要继续玩这场游戏时，你就要下定目标，level 200是总结尾，你的目标是level 200,因为每个人一旦踏下去了，对准的目标，就是最远的那一个。
在你level 20的时候，你或许会遇到没有组织，被欺负时不知道怎么办。
在你level 30的时候，你或许有了组织，但是没人愿带你升级。
这个时候，要靠的，都是自己。钱，装备，及等级，都是自己拼出来的。
在level 50时，你看到别人等级那么高，好羡慕。
当你level 130时，你开始会觉得自己很厉害了，可以欺负别人了。
但是，就在你开心得自以为是时，你被一个同等级的玩家打了下来。
你会很愤怒，破口大骂，甚至召集人马要去把那个打倒你的玩家给干了。
但是，你有没有发现？打倒你的玩家，他的武装是怎样的？他的能耐，又是如何强大的？
要怪，唯有怪自己。
这个时候，你等级都不升了。不断的锻炼自己的技术，寻找着更强大的装备与武器。
你的目标总有天会大成，只是需要时间。一个月？一年？两年？还是三年？
如果幸运的话，很快就能找到你想要的。
在你犹豫level 150要不要升级时，你看看level 180的路离你快到了。
但是，唯一的阻碍，就是你要升一个10%都是个困难时，你就会勉励抉择了。
首先，你只有两条路，一，继续。二，放弃。
如果你选择放弃，很简单的答案，就是停止继续玩下去了。
如果你选择继续，那么你就要想尽办法如果去达到目标。
过程很艰苦，但是，你熬过了。level 180时，你就会觉得什么都是值得的了。
这个，只不过是人生一小部分的过程及经历。
打game 并不是麻木的打，从中我也领悟了许多。
可能是自己经历的也不怎么少吧？有些事情，有些事物，都能融入我的哲学里，自己的道理里。
亲情，爱情，友情，事业，全部都能运用在每个道理。
最重要的是有自己的道理，及原则。
不破坏自己的原则，就是原则。
2010年11月3日星期三
Time is passing fast...
just a clip,there are already 1 year passed.
the started feeling when entered uni life already changed.
the enthusiastic gone.
just leave a heavy shoulder.
a pieces heart.
a tired body.
and a complicated mind.
just an article from facebook.
2012 is really happen and it already proof by science.
appreciate the time with family,friends,and the one you think is important.
i wish to back home.
see my parents.
lying on my bed.
drive my car go around malacca.
sit on the beach with the cold blowing wind.
i am stop smoking and drunk.
some time feeling stress with the complicated mind.
just think others, transfer and focus on other things.
is time to study, gambateh, yoxi, you can do it.
you will success one day.
now all of the suffers thing just a training for you.
what the other look down at you, just ignore.
doing you best part in your life.
you are acting yourself.
but not others.
work hard for it! :)
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